Only gets one star because I can't give zero. I feel like all the other reviewers stayed at a different hotel. Think of this as more of an overpriced hostel than a hotel.
Our arrival was an inconvenience to the porter watching Star Wars, he found our paperwork in silence, grabbed the TV and AirCon remotes and key from a cupboard and showed us to our room. He spent about 30seconds opening the door, walked in and turned on the air con then turned around and walked out.
While the bed sheets and towels were at least clean, they were the only things that were. The bathroom hadn't been cleaned properly in a while, there was no toiletries or toilet paper. When I went to reception to ask about it, they said go outside - which I took to mean go buy some.There are no safes, hairdryer, no WiFi and no tea/coffee facilities in the room.
While the air con works and wasn't too loud, everything else was. So much so that we thought there wasn't any glass in the windows at one point. If you stay here make sure you are an early riser, before 6am. What can only be described as an ice cream van does its rounds at about 6am and you'll know about it straight away, he sits outside for a while playing his tune.
In the morning there is no breakfast even though it was included in our booking - we got a 'go outside' when we asked.
Another key piece of missing information is that you have to pay cash at checkout. Luckily our driver had enough to cover us.
Checked out took about 20mins.